Boared @ Office ?

If you find it very boring in the office, here are some tips:

1. Form a detective agency to find out who is quitting next.

2. Make blank calls to your Boss.

3. Send mails from lotus notes (outlook)to your internet mail (and
immediately get to the internet and see who reaches first, you or your
mail?)and read them there, and note down the time they take to reach
there.Then do vice versa.............!!

4. Rearrange the furniture, i.e. flick someone else's chair just to
irritate him/her.

5. Count your fingers (and toes if you still get bored).

6. Watch other people changing their facial ex-pressions whileworking
and try changing your ex-pressions also.

7. Try to stretch status meetings as longer as possible, just by asking
silly doubts.

8. Make faces at strangers in office.

9. Have a two hour lunch; it's a big social occasion.

10. Learn to whistle.

11. Revise last week's newspaper.

12. Hold "How fast my computer boots" competitions.

13. Practice aiming the coffee cup into the dustbin.

14. Compile "How to waste your day"

15. Pick up phone and dial non-existing nos.

16. Have work breaks in between tea.

17. Count maximum no of applications your computer can open at time.

18. For Win NT/95 users....Move things to Recycle bin and restore them..
Then repeat this process.

19. Look at someone & try to imagine how(s) he might have looked when(s)
he was 5 years old.

20. Read jokes and send jokes.

21. Make full use of the comfortable chair and table provided and take a
nap.

And if you are still getting bored.........................then 
Refer this blog to your friends.....

You & Your BOSS

When you take a long time, you're slow.
When your boss takes a long time, he's thorough.

When you don't do it, you're lazy.
When your boss doesn't do it, he's too busy.

When you make a mistake, you're an idiot.
When your boss makes a mistake, he's only human.

When doing something without being told, you're overstepping your authority.
When your boss does the same thing, that's initiative.

When you take a stand, you're being bull-headed.
When your boss does it, he's being firm.

When you overlooked a rule of etiquette, you're being rude.
When your boss skips a few rules, he's being original.

When you please your boss, you're apple polishing.
When your boss pleases his boss, he's being co-operative.

When you're out of the office, you're wandering around.
When your boss is out of the office, he's on business.

When you're on a day off sick, you're always sick.
When your boss is a day off sick, he must be very ill.

When you apply for leave, you must be going for an interview.
When your boss applies for leave, it's because he's overworked.

Funnny - Technology @ Peak

See the Situations when Technology @ Peak




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Neck Exercise -- Great Effect.

A doctor advises his patients to exercise their neck by just reading this message.

In the end, all patients go home happily without asking the doctor for any medications. 'It is very effective,' said the doctor.

'All my patients never come back to me again.'
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Never be Late....

Priest's Retirement Dinner

A Priest was being honoured at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and to give a little speech at the dinner.

However, he was delayed, so the Priest decided to say his own few words while they waited:
'I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when questioned by the police, was able to lie his way out of it. He had stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his employer, had an affair with his boss's wife, taken illegal drugs, and sold his sister's jewellery to buy a gun. I was appalled.
But as the days went on I learned that my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people.'....

Just as the Priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies at being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and gave his talk:

'I'll never forget the first day our parish Priest arrived,' said the politician. 'In fact, I had the honour of being the first person to go to him for confession.'


Moral : Never, Never, Never Be Late

Friday Joke - Mr. Clinton

This is a true story from the Japanese Embassy in US.

A few years ago, Prime Minister Mori was given some Basic English conversation training before he visits Washington and meets president Bill Clinton. The instructor told Mori "Prime Minister, when you shake hand with President Clinton, please say 'how are you'.

Then Mr. Clinton should say, "I am fine, and you?" Now you should say 'me too'. Afterwards we, translators, will do all the work for you." It looks quite simple, but the truth is.... When Mori met Clinton , he mistakenly said "Who Are You?" Mr. Clinton was a bit shocked but still managed to react with humor: "Well, I am Hilary's husband, ha-ha...." Then Mori replied confidently "Me too, ha ha ha."
Then there was a long silence in the meeting room, nobody knew what to do!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Source : timepass-india.blogspot.com 

Puzzle - Find the Black Dots

நண்பர்களே , மேலே இருக்கும் படத்தில் எத்தனை கரும்புள்ளிகள் உள்ளன ? முயற்சி செய்துதான் பாருங்களேன் ............. 

 சோர்ஸ் : வலை பக்கங்களில் இருந்து -

Unblock Orkut, Facebook , Youtube @ Work . Now @ Browser

TOR  - Turn on anonymity.

The Onion Router (Tor) is a free software implementation of second-generation onion routing – a system which claims to enable its users to communicate anonymously on the Internet. Roger Dingledine, Nick Mathewson, and Paul Syverson presented "Tor: The Second-Generation Onion Router" at the 13th USENIX Security Symposium.

A user of the Tor network runs a proxy server on his computer. Internet-facing software can then access Tor through a SOCKS interface. Once inside a Tor network, the traffic is sent from router to router, the Tor software periodically negotiating a virtual circuit through the Tor network, ultimately reaching an exit node at which point the clear text packet is forwarded on to its original destination. Viewed from the destination, the traffic appears to originate at the Tor exit node. Tor employs cryptography in a multi-layered manner (hence the Onion routing analogy), ensuring perfect forward secrecy between routers.

Tor cannot and does not try to protect against monitoring of traffic at the edge of the Tor network, i.e., the traffic entering and exiting the network. The United States government, for example, has the capability to monitor any broadband Internet traffic using devices mandated by the Communications Assistance For Law Enforcement Act (CALEA) and can therefore monitor both ends of a US-based Tor connection. Tor tries to protect against traffic analysis, but Tor does not have the ability to prevent traffic confirmation (also called end-to-end correlation).

By using the above TOR, we can browse the internet anonymously, i.e. Our browser request to any website is not known to anyone. So that we can browse any website, especially orkut, face book, youtube, etc. without any identification in office, schools, etc. i.e. We can unblock any website. To make it work on our browser,

Follow the steps given below,

1.     Download X- Tor from here.

2.     Open Firefox, and click on Tools à Add-ons.

3.     In Get Add-ons, select Get Add-ons and type “torbutton” in Search Box.

4.     Install that add-on & Restart Firefox.

5.     Click on  TorButton icon @ left bottom corner of firefox, and make it enabled.

6.     Run X- Tor and Browse anonymously.

This above trick works on almost all content filtering services….

Friday Joke - Don't Miss....

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance -- particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as Soccer 5.0, The Ashes 3.0, and Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. A friend suggested that I run Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but it hasn't worked. What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate.

.....................................................................

Here is the Reply from TechSupport

Dear Desperate:

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System. Please enter the command: 'http: I Thought You Loved Me.html' and try to download Tears 6.2 and install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources).

Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 or worse still 6.0, program. These are unsupported applications which will lead to serious systems conflicts.

In summary, Husband1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Food 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck,

Tech Support

Source: http://karmasotra.blogspot.com/

Why Developers Say, “It Works On My System” : Src: www.thoughtclusters.com

Because it is not as bad as saying, “Don’t blame me for it.”

“It works on my computer” is one of those things that reminds me of how pedestrians behave as drivers and vice versa. The pedestrian feels that the driver should be careful and drive safely, but the same person, as a driver, hates all the jaywalking pedestrians. All programmers, at some point in time, have replied to a bug stating it works on their system, but it drives their team leaders (once programmers themselves) crazy when they hear them.

To the manager, this statement sounds insane. He thinks, “Why does it matter whether it works on your system? We are not talking about your system. We are talking about a customer who is unable to do their work because the application doesn’t work as it is supposed to? Why are you being so callous?”

The developer, simultaneously, thinks, “There shouldn’t be any problem with the application. After all, I tested it a million different ways. It passed testing and we didn’t have any problems so far. Maybe the person at the customer site is using an unsupported environment. Maybe they are missing a necessary component or turned off something for security reasons.”

The developer remembers the several times in the past when he had to deal with a supposedly huge problem in the application and then found out that the user did not have the network cable plugged in (yes, Google too stopped working!). Or that some IT wise guy decided to turn off JavaScript (all those nasty XSS exploits). Or even when the customer was specifically told not to use anything less than Windows XP, and they decided anyway to run the application on a Windows 98 box (it happened to be lying around).

Maybe this time, it is different, but probably not.

Yes, the developer knows it is not his fault. But saying that makes the developer sound too defensive. Better to use an actual fact, i.e., the application has been known to work. It is not a problem with the code he wrote. Inside, the developer also knows that he will have to fix the problem despite this statement. But he wants to win this mini-battle to maintain his credentials.

So, manager, when you hear a developer say, “It works on my system“, don’t burst into flames. Just say without any sarcasm, “OK, it is good to know that the application is working here. [significant pause] Now, can you call the customer and get it working on their system?“

Life @ 2020

 
1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.

2 You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.

7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.

8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.

10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.

11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )

12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.

13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.

14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.

15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list

AND NOW YOU ARE LAUGHING at yourself.

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Always allow Boss to speak first........ - A Story.

A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss
are on their way to a meeting.
On their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp. They rub the lamp and a ghost appears.

The ghost says,
"Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you are three,
I will allow one wish each"

So the eager senior manager shouted,
"I want the first wish. I want to be in the Bahamas, on a fast boat and have no worries."
Pufffff. and he was gone.
Now the junior manager could not keep quiet and shouted "I want to be In Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails." Pufffff. and he was also gone.

The boss calmly said,
"I want these two idiots back in the office after lunch at 12.35pm."



MORAL OF THE STORY IS:
"ALWAYS ALLOW THE BOSS TO SPEAK FIRST"